I love my state and the folks who live as true Texans—bold, adventurous, and freedom-loving. Book banning in schools isn’t new but is antithetical to Texan individualism. The prohibited materials—sexuality, race inequity, rape, even the Holocaust—apparently are too heavy for teenagers…teenagers. In many schools, an eighteen-year-old, who’s legally allowed to vote, can’t read about the emotional tribulations of LGBTQ characters their age. That’s the policies of Texas school districts, policies now backed by Texas law. (I know banned books aren’t endemic to Texas, but it thrives here)

Let me fill all book banners in on a little secret. Teenaged readers will read “Maus,” “The Glass Castle,” “The Handsome Girl and Her Beautiful Boy,” and hundreds of banned books. They’ll read them because you told them not to, because they crave knowledge, and because only reading “wholesome,” asexual, struggle-free books about “normal” lives is narrow-minded and boring.

To the young men and women who’ll surreptitiously procure copies of books deemed inappropriate by parents and school boards, my message is good for you. The books you’ll read will not warp your mind, transforming you into a heinous, tainted miscreant. No, you’ll learn about the world as it is, you’ll respect people who aren’t like you, and you’ll know what it is to be human.

You will be corrupted though, permanently haunted by a lividity for those who seek censorship. Instinctively you’ll try to rationally discuss the matter with them. But the opposition will label you with pejoratives and damning adjectives—pervert, anti-American, profane, blasphemous, boat rocker.

The sad irony of this scholastic censorship is most of the “adults” banning books have never read any of them. They read handpicked quotes made available by various organizations hellbent on preventing the corruption of America’s youth. Shocked by the words they see, which likely represent less than one percent of the novels from which they were excised, the outraged parents band together at the next school board meeting.

School board members, as appalled as parents or simply too craven to object to their demands, quickly vote for the immediate removal of all offensive materials in their schools. Content the innocence of their pubescent children is secure, the once furious parents are appeased, and one of the school board’s headaches is alleviated.

Finally, I’d like to make a point of clarification for anyone who’s pegged me as an atheistic, depraved, lost soul. Sorry, I’m not. I’ve read and taught the sixty-six texts combined into the traditional Christian Bible. I’ve read the scriptures, the commentaries on the scriptures, the Hebrew and Greek meanings that have been transliterated to English. Guess what? Some of those scriptures don’t mean what you think or want them to mean. A few of them would likely be considered inappropriate for children. But maybe I’m just a victim of too much reading.